I’m really pretty happy with my classes so far, but I can’t help but worry about how I’m going to keep it all together. The problem I have is that there are only two classes that I really care about, while I kinda let the other ones slide. Luckily, they’re very entry level classes in a community college–which means that anyone with a moderate level of intelligence can do pretty well for themselves in them. Not that I’m knocking the community college. I quite like it here, and I wish that this was what high school was like. I seem to fare a lot better with more freedom. Go figure.

I really should go to sleep and maintain my precarious circadian rhythm: I have to leave at 6:20am three days of the week to make it to school at 8:00, and possibly I’ll have to leave later because of the egregious amount of snow that has fallen. But I’ve gotten a sudden burst of energy, courtesy of Death in Vegas.

I have this perpetual problem of juggling all the things I want to do, and constantly accumulating more ideas for hobbies and activities. Such as, I really should be drawing all the time, or perhaps painting, but I haven’t got the time because I should always be studying biology all the time. I would like to continue bellydancing, as I’ve kept it up for a year, but now I’m poor. And why am I poor? Because I just paid for a trip to Egypt (which may or may not happen now). So I should also be studying Arabic all the time. Or I should be cleaning and organizing all the time. Oh, and I’m a student, so I should be generally studying all the time. I kinda want to start taking care of my nails and stop biting them, but I’d need to be painting and filing them all the time. I should cook healthy stuff for myself. I should pack a lunch everyday. I’ve also got deadlines for essays, applications, financial aid, taxes, assignments, research, mandatory school activities, and so on. It’s troublesome. It’s hard to be well-rounded.

Particularly when you have time management troubles as I do. My one saving grace is that I work and read and write pretty quickly. At least I think I do, but it could simply be that I get so absorbed in what I’m doing that I lose track of time. Very possible. I’m an artist, it’s in my nature.

Unfortunately, it is also in my nature to be a perfectionist, as well as a total slob. These are indeed related! I never clean anything or get much done in a timely manner because it won’t be perfect enough for me. I have FlyLady to thank for that realization.

I am NOT going to promise to start blogging every day, or every week, because I know I won’t. I do enjoy the luxury of having a sounding board, and somewhere to dump my thoughts idly. Have a good night.

I’ll start with my email being hacked this morning. Not sure how it happened yet, but I’m trying to take steps to make sure that it doesn’t happen again, at the expense of my own convenience. Thankfully, this is probably cleared up now. I suppose I wouldn’t complain if someone sent me a few thousand pounds, anyway…

I hardly really want to write about the thing that’s weighing on my mind the most right now, but I know that if I want a decent amount of sleep before the lengthy weekend ahead of me, I must.

J**** B****** IS A BITCH.

Ahhh…much better.

…

Well, perhaps not. It all started when I was running the center while my boss was away. She came in, complaining that her son wasn’t doing multiplication yet, and wanted him to start. She had already sent my boss two emails, the second threatening to leave. I tried to reassure her with the information that my boss had left me for her–her son would move up to the next level by the end of the month–two weeks away. She was not completely satisfied with that, but I told her there was not much that I could do as my boss was away for two weeks. I offered to make sure that her son could at least do multiplication flashcards. With that, she left. Four days later, they were back in again. She complained that one of her sons (or both, I don’t remember) didn’t get their reading homework. Acknowledging to myself that it was quite possible that I had made a mistake, I apologized. She went on to complain that she was paying for both subjects, and I wholeheartedly agreed with her. She, however, was on a roll. Despite my reassurances, she cut me off with an abrupt “When is [your boss] coming back?” Though taken aback, I tried to assume that she didn’t mean to be rude and simply answered her. After she left, my coworker approached me and asked if she was trying to diss me by asking when our boss would be back. I tried to shrug it off, though honestly my feelings were rather hurt.

The following Thursday, she came in complaining that her sons were not in long enough. I had already made sure that they had all their work, and I asked them if they had done it. They said yes. She was not satisfied, once again. I asked my coworker, who said with certainty that they had. Next Monday, she was back in again, telling me that she could not wait a week for her son to do multiplication. I tried telling her again that there was nothing I could do within the franchise rules. I tried looking for ways to work it out for her, but I really couldn’t devise anything. She asked again when my boss would be back, and left in a huff.  My boss was back that Wednesday, and somehow managed to work it so that her sons could take tests to pass to the next level. She wrote them a very polite email, and Mrs. B***** finally seemed satisfied. For about a week.

Which brings us to yesterday, Wednesday. She had apparently called. My boss took the call, but mistook her for another parent calling to say that they would come in that day instead of Thursday. Expecting the other parent, we were surprised when her sons came walking in a day early. My boss and I asked them to wait a couple minutes while we got their work ready for them. Mrs. B***** came walking in after them. With only good intentions, I advised her to call before coming in early. When she told me she did, I was surprised and asked her boys to wait just a second. I asked my boss, who realized her mistake. I asked the boys if they had their work that we had assigned for the day, but they had already done it. This complicated matters further, but eventually we got it worked out. Later, when they were ready to leave, Mrs. B***** came in, apparently complaining to my boss about payment. My boss had given her a printout of what was due, as she was $100 short. Mrs. B***** protested, not understanding what was on the sheet. When my boss tried to clarify, Mrs. B****** kept saying that it was annoying, and yet again threatened not to keep coming to Kumon.

Later that day, she sent my boss an email essentially insulting the both of us and the center as a whole. She claimed that I had copped an attitude with her, and that the center was very disorganized while my boss was away–and that she was not the only one who thought so. She went on to claim that I had tried to stop the boys from coming in that day, and that my boss and I had treated her like she was an idiot. So on and so forth. It appears to me that she is extremely over sensitive, felt that she was an idiot on Wednesday, and decided to take out her insecurities on us.

To be fair, I do hope that this is not really the case, and this is all merely due to circumstance–a strange chain of misunderstandings and mistakes. On some counts, I can understand her being upset, however, not to the unreasonable extent that she became so. I wish that when problems arose that I could actually assist her with or rectify, she would have said something. For example, if they boys were missing pages, she or they could have alerted us later so that we could leave it out for them–if not at the center itself. However, I do take responsibility for that, simply because I do not know what actually happened to those worksheets. There really isn’t anything else here that I truly feel responsible for, though. I’ll take the fall for my boss misunderstanding who was on the phone–it was probably because of my suggestion that another family would call that she made the mistake. However, J***** consistently tried to bully me into bending franchise rules that I was not qualified to bend. She misrepresented my attempts at helping, reassuring, and assisting as “attitude.” (When my boss told me that she said I had copped an attitude, I laughed with disbelief. I am a remarkably patient person, and no matter how much any parent has tried my nerves, I have never raised my voice or said anything rude to them). Perhaps the center was a bit more disorganized than usual on my watch–I was doing the work of two people, one of which is much older and more experienced and trained than I am. Perhaps I didn’t hang over their shoulders as much as I should have, or something. I’m not sure. If someone was being rude or copping an attitude there, though, it was not me.

Aaaaallll of that said…her sons are very sweet, and I’ll be sorry if she decides to punish them for her own mistake. The son who she made such a fuss about really ought not have gone to the next level, he was well placed. His multiplication will not be up to par if he (she) does not allow the time to learn addition. She also wrote in the email that the our teaching method was one she could get behind. My ass. This whole thing was about her trying to cheat the system. That never ends well for the student when a parent tries to take advantage of our good rates and manipulate them to try to get different benefits. Her continuous threats to leave didn’t help either–it just gives us less of an incentive to bend over backwards for her if she’s going to be gone the next day. Nevertheless, we are still doing our best for her. Her most recent email basically stated that she was not sure if they’d come the next scheduled day, but we have pulled for them anyway. I will greet all of them with a smile if they do, as I have for the past three weeks. I’ll take this moment to note that I have never taken any of this out on her sons–nor will I. Everyone at the center knows that kids really can’t help the parents they’ve got. And they do work hard. I can only assume that they have a very mellow father.

I spent a  lot of today trying to be “mindful.” Trying to combat the feelings of duality–the feeling that it’s me against the world. As I’ve said in a private post before, I was beginning to lose faith in myself. I felt unintelligent, incapable. But you know, overall, I’m damn lucky. Perhaps I’m not always going to be the best in the room, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the person who is–or myself. Certainly it would be easier if my coworker didn’t feel the need to point out my mistakes, but in the end, I think he does purposefully and somehow he knows that’s what’s best for me. He’s just one of those people. I do trust him, though he’s annoying at times. But I suppose this is when I answer myself with the excellent quote I just read:

“Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.  Do the very best you can; & then put up your old umbrella & keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.” – Dale Carnegie

I am doing the best I can, I will continue to do the best I can, and I believe that if I keep doing my best, my best will get better. If I were already perfect, I would never grow–and stagnation is death.

At first watching people who were not the Beatles singing Beatles songs was a little disconcerting. A teenage girl at a dance is not the first person I would expect. It begins to grow on you though, particularly when the energetic and passionate parallel (named Sadie) of Janis Joplin appears. The Jimi Hendrix character, Jojo, was not nearly as impressive however, and I was disappointed to find that he never really did any amazing guitar work–though I was definitely holding my breath for it during a rendition of While My Guitar Gently Weeps. Eddie Izzard, Joe Cocker, Salma Hayek, and Bono all made recognizable cameos, which were fun to spot.

Another factor in whether you’ll get anything out of this movie is how much you need a plot to drive you along, because it was certainly flimsy in this one. The characters weren’t very well developed either, though they were certainly a lot of fun to watch. And  thankfully our main man, Jude (played by Jim Sturgess) did a very good job and was a joy to watch…and not just because of his resemblance to Paul McCartney which was so subtle that it took a few minutes to really hit me, but was afterward undeniable.

There were some aspects of this movie which were very powerful, especially when the Beatles mean the world to you, though there were flops and just plain confusing decisions on the writer’s part. This is not to say that it was a simple film, however. Though I could probably explain the basic plot in a sentence (which I won’t, you’ll just have to see it), I wouldn’t be able to explain the movie in its entirety in fifteen. It was beautifully shot and mostly well-sung, and for the most part, a very fun movie. 6/10.

 I had a brilliant idea for a thesis for an essay for my Philosophy class….hmm. Oh yeah, something to do with Bertrand Russell’s idea of what true philosophical thought is and does for a person, and the traditional role of shamans. You know, the whole transcending everything and coming into a deeper connection with the universe. Don’t know if I’ll ever have to use it, but it’s here if I ever get inspired.

Let’s see, where to begin. Even on the airplane I was feeling like my mother and I were hopelessly American. We ended up making ourselves look pretty stupid at every turn. But whatever. We got here. And everyone was really polite, even if they didn’t work at the airport. If you asked them where something was, they wouldn’t just tell you, they would go out of their way and walk you there. And the Underground is amazingly efficient. It’s so much better than the El. I guess they’re so well timed that you can jump off one train and go straight onto another. However, you do have to “mind the gap.” There’s a couple inches in height difference between the train and the platform, which is kind of alarming sometimes. My only real complaint about it is that there are no elevators or anything, which was a problem when we were carrying our luggage. But still, people are amazingly nice. Mom asked someone who was also traveling if there were elevators anywhere, and when they said no and we began to lug our stuff up the stairs, the man turned around and started carrying it for us.

Other things I’ve noticed so far:

-There really are little notices painted by the curb that say “Look right.” Course, mom still almost got hit by a car because she was looking the wrong way.
-And while we’re on the subject, the cars go fast and do not slow down or care if it looks like you are about to walk into the street.
-Londoners really know how to cross the street. They’ve got it timed to the second, or so it would seem. The cars go by so fast, but the second there is a gap they’re gone, and even if a car is hot on their heels, they never get hit or even seem to be concerned. There are crossing lights and stuff, but people don’t pay any attention, and there are some intersections that don’t have them which I really found myself wishing that they did.
-There are a hell of a lot of Muslims here. I mean, it’s very diverse, every room I walk into I hear someone speaking French, and many things are also written in German, so I’m assuming there are a fair few of those around. We were also served by a woman from Brazil, a couple of Scottish people (or maybe they were Irish, it’s hard to tell sometimes), and a few Arabs. I’m staying in the Hilton, and I have not found a single WASP actually working there, aside from the Scot/Irish/whatever people. And on a hopefully not too racist note, all the black people here are business people. No gangstas. They all have very sleek black suits, well shined shoes, and a shiny black laptop. Sometimes rimless glasses as well. Really, the ghetto people here seem to be the Arabs.
-And for all their niceness and politeness, I do detect a hint of dislike or condescension. Mostly from the people that have to work with us, though…no surprises there. Waitresses and airline stewardesses, mostly. The people I relate to the most here really are the Arabs,since they’re not as confined culturally. At least, they’re more expressive and such. But at the same time, they just see me as a white person and some of them seem a little hostile as well.
-This is getting long.
-It’s COLD. I thought us Chicagoans were tough with the cold and wind, but I was shivering even though I was wearing a sweatshirt and jean vest, and there were people in t-shirts or less walking around comfortably. But as I made the comment to Mom: This is the kind of cold that they people who live here don’t feel. It’s inside of them too. I’m loving the British, I really do, but you got to admit that they’re kind of uptight and cold inherently.

Despite all that, I’m enjoying myself so far. We’re going on a Beatle walking tour or something tomorrow, and hopefully checking out some art galleries and such. Hopefully we’ll get more into the swing of things and get less touristy. Though I will be taking pictures…I didn’t have a camera today, and there was so much stuff I wanted to get a shot of.

 Back from where? Nowhere in particular. I’m just trying to maintain my subpar level of activity. I’ve been needing something intelligent to say. I’ve also been feeling that I had something intelligent to say, and that it’s been on the tip of my tongue but…I can’t quite reach right now. I’ll get back to you guys on that.

 Lessee…oh yeah, all my crazy gothy and deathrock music. Well, I’ve been getting more into classic punk lately, to be quite honest, and if I list anything I’ll probably sound like an idiot for not knowing them so well before. To add insult to injury, I’m currently listening to Matisyahu….yeah. Nuff said.

 Oh yeah! I saw Spiderman 3 yesterday. Screw the critics, I really liked it. It wasn’t the most intelligent film, naturally, but it was very entertaining. I enjoyed watching it, and there’s a lot to be said for that. And I swear, Spidey went emo for a while, with the greasy sideswept hair, black suit, and the angst. It’s my opinion that he went goth too for like, a short time (as in, the time when he climbed up onto a cathedral to cry or something). But I’m being stupid. Go see the movie, it’s a lot of fun. Sam Raimi is my lover. And Bruce Campbell as the waiter……ooooh boy. I was  writhing with delight in the theater. If you don’t know who Bruce Campbell is, you’d best be finding out, and fast.

 I should probably change the Playlist of the Month, but I don’t feel like anyone’s really looked at it yet, let alone downloaded all of that. Problem is, I’d like to be able to have a player up there for you, though I can’t think of how I would do that. Meanwhile, I thought I’d just whore off a Radio Ghoul School the official shoutcast stream thingy of Deathrock.com. Good stuff, good stuff. Well, I guess while I’m at it, one of my favorite Podcasts would have to be the Dark Music Project by Nonbeliever. Great goth, deathrock, what have you. Check it out.

 Shit son, I had something to say earlier. Ah well. I need to figure out how to make layouts here. And I need to get hosted or something, blah. I have a few things I’d like to do here but can’t.

I drew something. Took a picture with my phone just so I would have evidence. Looking at the pictures made me realize that I totally changed the angle about halfway down her face. Fawk, I always do that. And I fail at drawing noses. You’d think that after practicing for years and year and years I would actually have figured it out by now. Though admittedly I did take a long vacation.

 Alright, now I’m boring even myself. I really shouldn’t update when I have nothing to say.

 There really was no point to this post. I just needed to vent a little about something. Now I’m going to go think.